Thresholds (1)

Hello there old friend. It's been a long time, back to visit again?


Yes, it has, hasn't it? I believe it was in secondary 2 that we last met? When your youngest Aunt passed away, wasn't it?


That's how long ago it was? I didn't even realise. So, why are you back again this time? Unfinished business?


Oh well... you know me. My business with you is never finished. Hey, it's not like I want to be here you know? You summoned me. I suppose... It is inevitable from the string of events going on in your life.


Hey hey, I didn't exactly invite you either. You just... Came! Yes, I know my thoughts have not been exactly healthy of late, but like you said, can you blame me for my state of mind? It's just a reaction to the circumstances around me, is it not? Even though I can accept you as part of my life, doesn't exactly mean that I want you to be. I would be more than happy to see the back of you, thank you very much.


And I to show it to you, young Master. You, of all people, should know that the link between us is such that the phrase "Unto death do we part" is a mockery. Either you die or dispel me back into the abyss of your heart I call home. Even then, you know I will return. If only to congratulate you for what you may or may not have accomplished as the bells of time keel out your death toll. I exist only because you do.


Be gone then! If your existence is dependent on mine, I demand that you leave me at once in peace.


Alas...It is you who will not let me go.


Blasted creature, you torment me so. For all the raging emotions you stir up in my soul, all actions are also quelled into inaction by your presence. I am impotent to act upon my despair as I drift along with my drained heart. Be gone, I implore you, be gone. Numb are my overworked senses. Tired is my unused body. Restless is my aimless mind.


And tighter does your grip on me ever grow. You watch me - grow stronger, larger and darker as I loom more and more over you - and you despair. You despair and your mute, pointless and mindless sorrow feeds me. It strengthens and emboldens me. You see the source of my power, but yet you still despair. The blasted one is you, insufferable fool.


Silence the mockery you utter. Do you think I am not aware of what you said. By-product of my existence, of course I know what you think. And yet... For that.. a greater fool I am. Helpless to help myself in spite of the knowledge we share. You have me at knife point. This is a checkmate I saw coming and did not avert. I have made you the scapegoat of my suicide, have I not?

I now stand at the threshold. A choice I have to make on the precipice of the plunge. How ironic that the plunge should be into the abyss of my own heart. The halls of your home from which you hail. Funny how my own heart is lethal and treasonous ground.


...to be continued