Randomness

Samious is Dubious

Samious is dubious
Gone are the days when he was ambitious.
Everything is just horrendous.
Even in weeping the loneliness is monstrous,
For his soul mate is lost and burdened with being industrious.

Samious is dubious
Gone are the days when he was curious.
Everyone is just too serious.
Even though the reason are various,
And sometimes downright ambiguous,
The world's favourite past time is being furious.

Why does it have to be so malicious?
All it takes is to be a little more gracious,
For an act of kindness is wondrous,
It can placate even the murderous.
What's the point in being studious
When I have lost all impetus.

Goodbye

Take care great-grandpa. These silent tears I shed for you. Take care on your journey onto the after-life. I know it was an inevitable event for you and you tried your best to fight on for the sake of the family. Mom may be devastated, but may she take comfort in the end of your suffering. I salute you in your strength and wit and humour to the last hour. If I could do the same in my dying moments, I would be proud. Only you can understand now, this drawing of strength from within required of oneself at these dire times of need. How you cannot show weakness and not let your grand-daughter (my mom) know how sad and afraid you are. I cry for you and with you. I will miss you, Ah Zor. Go in peace knowing you are ever in our thoughts. Hopefully, your passing will finally bring the family together again, if only for a while. Take care in heaven and remember that we will always love you. Together, we must be strong for the living and weep in secret for the dead.

Ah Zor, le ai ka ki chiu kor ka ki. Zhong Tai bui sai tio le eh sheng bu, chin eh dui em ki. Le tio ti teng hou hou hiu sek. Wa lang eh dai zee, le bian huan lor liao, eh sai ka Tai Ma hou hou gong wei, hiu sek. Zhong Tai tio Eng Gok tak chek, bah lu ko liao chek, bo tang hor le xio hiong, chin zah pai seh. Dan wa tak wan gim ni eh chek, deng lai liao, gah le pai pai hor? Tiong kim, le ai boh bi Mami. Le kia liao Mami chin zah xiong xim. Ah Zor, le ban ban kia. Wa lang eh xio le eh, bye bye.

Fuck it. I don't care anymore. I should just die like the piece of shit I am and rot here not bothering anyone.

-------------------------------------------------------

judging from what happened, I wasn't too far off on my self-assessment after all. Now to just wait to die.

If anyone ever felt like giving up...

Which is why we should always cherish it when we have the good fortune to be in love. Regrets are the worse remenants to have from a relationship. Never give anything less than your all is what I say. If you ever find yourself lacking, the least you could do is be honest about it.

This is IT

From here on, there's nowhere to sink any further. As I withdraw into my shell, depression is settling in and hitting me hard. It is like some sick movie as I watch myself morph into a kind of person that can do nothing but despise everything about himself. Oh yeah, this is the pits alright. I am past being angry. That phase has run its course and expended its fiery energy. I can't even be bothered to hate myself any longer.

DAMN IT

I forgot so many things this time, coming back from Singapore!!!

Most importantly I forgot my green tea leaves!!!! What is going to keep me warm through the long long nights now? :(

I should kick myself. And eat more fish.

Time to ... say goodbye.

*cues orchestra*