Remnants

Remnants. Yes, I suppose that is what I would call it. Now that a certain period of time has passed and I am able to look back/around/introspectively with a sheen of protective numbness, it is kind of amusing. What is, you ask? Well, take a gander across my room and you will see the room of a single male student - maybe a little tidier than average - but the pad of a bachelor nonetheless. Funny how just a few simple changes can alter the feeling and atmosphere of person's room so drastically. All it took was for me to put away the triple photo frame (imagine a leather frame that has 3 slots for photos that can be opened and closed like a book) and another photo of Ling and I on the notice board. That's it.

But look a little closer, beyond the obvious. See the white card embossed with silver drops to outline the shape of a heart? No need to guess why it occupies top position on the notice board. The small fan whose soft whirls will lull me to sleep come summer? It travelled a fair distance from Oxney Gardens to Victoria Hall. The letter set she gave me which I only used once. The journal she never found out about - it was really her idea for us to write down thoughts and feelings in a journal and pass them to each other, but she never knew that I started it for real - because I meant to surprise her with it. The extra phone line that was meant to be used exclusively for her. And so the list goes on... down to the very subtly placed jacket we picked out together inPrimark. Every item possessing a memory and feeling.

My point is this: when you truly love someone and share your life with them, it is impossible to extradite them completely out again. I suppose you could say that in a certain way, a little part of them has been infused into you. Of course, it's not just the materialistic items. Locations, situations, interests and many others. I just wanted to refer to items because they are the most tangible.

To deny the past is to deny the truth and what's the point in lying to yourself? Do not deny or try to erase these little nuggets of memories, but cherish them for the good times that were shared. Stop looking upon these remnants of a life shared as articles of a hurt once suffered, for the hurt was in the parting and not the sharing. Instead, remember them for what they truly are - expressions of love. Each and every one of them. Let them warm your heart and tug at your smiles once again. Surely that was the original intention of the person when she/he gave it to you? Back when she gave you a piece of her heart, so that she could touch yours.