Friday, February 29, 2008

Living With Depression

Save me from myself
I know better but I can't help myself

-Sam Png

It's a constant struggle when you suffer from depression. Speaking from a personal point of view, there's a vast chasm between the clinically depressed and the emotionally depressed that is greater than what people perceive it to be. Not to take anything away from those emotionally depressed, but the life of a clinically depressed (CD) person is like an endless cycle of wars waged within yourself. I am not going through a negative phase currently, but somewhere in the back of my mind is the knowledge that it will hit me out of the blue again with no warning and maybe even no real reason. One could even be depressed over being depressed.

External factors are not always necessary to make a person depressed. It is now known that chemical changes in the brain can lead to depression without any external precipitating factor. It's not so much that we don't want to enjoy the pleasures of life, but more of how the events themselves don't give us as much pleasure anymore. Try imagining that you're watching your favourite movie, but only on old film with faded colours and scratchy audio - you just don't enjoy it as much anymore.

I feel like I have so much more to expunge on this topic... Maybe it's because I've come to terms with it some more over the years, I feel like I have to share and dispel the common myths construed on a very misunderstood condition. However, to avoid going into a verbal tirade, I shall not go rambling on any further. Understanding depression is nearly impossible for someone who does not suffer from it, but at least the acknowledgment of it as an illness has risen over the years. Anyone can be struck down by it. In fact, the strongest characters and personalities in history have suffered from depression before. Here's a few random examples:

  • Alexander the Great, king
  • Drew Barrymore, actress
  • Ludwig von Beethoven, composer
  • Jim Carrey, actor and comedian
  • Winston Churchill, British prime minister
  • Sigmund Freud, psychiatrist
  • J.P. Morgan, industrialist
  • Sir Isaac Newton, physicist

Sources:
Mood Disorders Association of Manitoba, What Do All These Famous People Have in Common? (poster), August 1999
Celebrity Meltdown, Psychology Today, December 1999, pp. 46-49,70,78


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Photography

Warnings first: A photo deluge follows this!

Looking through past photographs taken, I realise that I have always been sort of semi-serious about photography. I know the basics about aperture and shutter speed, but that's about the extent of it. Lighting and settings are things which are still beyond me and frankly, I don't think I will be overly concerned about those variables any time soon. After all, the kind of photos I want to take aren't modelled shots. I am looking for the natural beauty in things to present themselves and capture them in that infinitely breath-taking moment.

There's only so little you can do with the lens on a digital camera though. Fiddle with it as much as you like, but the capabilities are limited. The next obvious step would be a digital SLR (Digital Single Reflex Lens) camera that offers better optics for low light conditions outdoors, a richer colour capture, less shutter lag, more manual control and much more depth. Basically, it does everything your digital camera does BUT better.

Below are photos that have got me wondering how it would have turned out with a better camera. Do I really want to sacrifice the convenience of a nifty point and shoot digicam with a bulky DSLR? It's not as simple as just getting a DSLR either. If you're going to get one, the additional accessories are a must or you might as well not get into serious photography to being with. Throw in the memory card, tripod, lens extension, carry case, cleaning kit and spare battery will probably rack up a bill of about $1500 to $2000 SGD depending on the brand and model you're buying. That is a huge price tag for a hobby. It is the equivalent of 10 top-notch basketball shoes, 20 A-grade basketballs, 2-3 superb semi-acoustic guitars with amplifiers included or 6 fabulous snorkelling trips on Malaysian or Thai islands! Perhaps it's still not the time yet for such a hefty investment.

p.s. the quality of the photos might appear better if viewed on flickr on this link
























Tuesday, February 12, 2008

This is Why We Will Always Need Pilots

Reading the article below just transported me back to year 2 "Controls" module with flashbacks of Laplace Transformations and Open/Closed Loops going on in my mind. It's an occupational hazard now that you've studied Aerospace Engineering, you tend to notice more and be more aware of things that happen during a flight. You're no longer one of the "meek sheep" the airlines cart from place to place.

What is really highlighted below is that even with the popular advent of UAVs, the possibility of having unmanned airliners plying the skies is not going to be possible anywhere in the near future. Barring technical and safety issues, there is still the psychological hurdle to overcome. Look at the rail industry - it took centuries before the automated trains of today became widely accepted and even then under very strict conditions. The recent crash landing in Heathrow is a gleaming example of why a pilot trained to rely on his senses and experience when all the flashy gizmos go blank is always going to be wanted at the helm in the cockpit. If not for his training, the outcome would have been disastrous.



Taken from Newscientist:

Crashing software poses flight danger

  • 11 February 2008
  • From New Scientist Print Edition. Subscribe and get 4 free issues
  • Paul Marks
Web Links

COCKPIT displays plunged into darkness, engines that throttle back during take-off and contradictory airspeed readings are just some of the problems caused in recent years by inexplicable failures in the software that controls aircraft.

So far there are no known cases of such failures alone causing an accident. Speculation that software problems led to the crash landing of the British Airways Boeing 777 at Heathrow airport, London, on 17 January remain unconfirmed. While software was implicated in the Korean Air jumbo jet crash in August 1997 on Guam, which killed 228 people, human error, not software design, was to blame. Software failures remain a risk, though, and with aircraft makers set to increase the proportion of aircraft functions controlled by software, experts are warning that they will become more frequent, increasing the chance that one will cause an accident.

In early aircraft, moving parts such as the rudder and wing flaps were linked to controls in the cockpit either by a system of cables and pulleys or by hydraulics. In the 1970s, aircraft makers realised they could get rid of much of this heavy equipment and replace it with lightweight wiring and systems driven by electric motors in the wings and tail. Such "fly-by-wire" (FBW) systems vastly increased fuel efficiency.

FBW had another advantage too: because it uses electrical signals, for the first time it allowed a computer to be placed between the pilot and the moving parts. The computers were programmed to modify the pilots' instructions in certain instances: for example, to stop them moving the rudder too far or too quickly and so damage the plane. They also allowed the plane's aerodynamics to be finely adjusted during flight in response to wind conditions, further improving fuel economy.

But the addition of software led to different problems. Some of these are documented in a report completed last year by the US National Academy of Sciences (NAS). It lists a number of instances in which software bugs caused frightening problems during flight. In one instance in August 2005, a computer in a Boeing 777 presented the pilot with contradictory reports of airspeed. It said the aircraft was going so fast it could be torn apart and at the same time that the plane was flying so slowly it would fail to generate enough lift to stay in the air. The pilots managed to control the aircraft nonetheless, but it was a stark illustration of what can go wrong.

In another instance in 2005, this time in an Airbus 319, the pilots' computerised flight and navigation displays as well as the autopilot, auto-throttle and radio all lost power simultaneously for 2 minutes. Another time, what the NAS calls "faulty logic in the software" meant that when the computer controlling fuel flow failed in an Airbus A340, the back-up systems were not turned on.

"The pilots' displays, autopilot, auto-throttle and radio all lost power for 2 minutes"

Now Boeing is planning to get rid of the hydraulic wheel brakes on its 787 in favour of lighter electrically actuated ones and to shift from using pneumatic engine starters and wing de-icers to electrical ones. Airbus will also be adopting a "more electric" approach in its forthcoming A350, says the plane's marketing director. "The addition of more electric systems will mean even more computer control," says Martyn Thomas, a systems engineering consultant based in Bath, UK, and a member of the NAS panel that produced the software report last year. "It will mean more wires or shared data lines and so still more possibilities for errors to arise."

But Boeing disagrees. "Flight critical software and systems are isolated from the other systems, so the addition of electric systems doesn't add complexity to the separate fly-by-wire flight control system," says a senior avionics engineer at Boeing's Everett, Washington plant.

The software used to control additional electric systems may not be in the same package as the flight control system, but they still add to the overall amount of software that needs writing and verifying as safe for flight. And that has independent experts like Thomas worried.

Why do software bugs arise and why can't they be removed? Bugs are sections of code that start doing something different to what the programmer intended, usually when the code has to deal with circumstances the programmer didn't anticipate. All software is susceptible to bugs, so it must be tested under as many different circumstances as possible. Ideally, the bugs get discovered at this time and are removed before the software is actually used. This is very difficult in complex systems like aircraft because the number of possible scenarios - such as different combinations of air densities, engine temperatures and specific aerodynamics - is huge.

To test for bugs, most aircraft manufacturers use a set of guidelines called the DO-178B standard, which was created by the US-based Radio Technical Commission for Aeronautics, a collection of government, industry and academic organisations, and the European Organisation for Civil Aviation Equipment. Recognised by the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), the standard rates software on how seriously it would compromise safety were it to fail, and then recommends different levels of testing depending on that rating. The most rigorous "level A" test, reserved for software whose failure would cause a catastrophic event, is called "modified condition/decision coverage" (MCDC), and it places the software in as many situations as possible to see if it crashes or produces anomalous output.

But it isn't clear whether the MCDC test includes enough different conditions to provide any greater protection than the level B tests done on less safety-critical software. So in 2003, UK Ministry of Defence contractor Qinetiq ran both levels on a range of software that is deployed in military transport aircraft. The MCDC should pick out many more flaws than the level B tests, but the Qinetiq team found that there was "no significant difference" between them. "MCDC testing is not removing any significant numbers of bugs," says Thomas. "It highlights the fact that testing is a completely hopeless way of showing that software does not contain errors."

"The criteria currently used to evaluate the dependability of electronic systems for many safety-related uses are way too weak, way insufficient," says Peter Ladkin, a computer scientist specialising in safety engineering at the University of Bielefeld in Germany.

Instead of focusing on testing, Ladkin and Thomas want to see a change in the way safety-critical software is written. Neither Boeing nor Airbus responded to questions about exactly which programming languages their software systems are written in, but according to Les Dorr, spokesman for the FAA, which certifies US commercial software systems, it is a mixture of the languages C, C++, assembler and Ada, which was developed by the Pentagon. Some of those languages, such as C, allow programmers to write vague or ambiguous code, says Thomas, which is the kind of thing that often leads to bugs.

To solve this problem, he suggests using highly specialised computer languages that do not allow ambiguous software specifications to be written, and which mathematically verify software as the programmer is coding. Such languages include the B-Method, pioneered for use on computer-controlled sections of the Paris Metro, and SPARK, a version of Ada. These so-called "strongly-typed" languages and their compiler software have strict controls within them that make it very difficult for programmers to write vague or ambiguous code.

The NAS report also backs stricter controls on languages. "Safe programming languages... are likely to reduce the cost and difficulty of producing dependable software," it says.

The FAA agrees that an increase in the software control of planes "makes validation and verification of software more challenging" and is working to ensure that validation keeps pace with technical advances. But Thomas says their progress is too slow. "How long are we prepared to go on using tools we know are broken to develop software on which people's lives depend? No other engineering discipline would rely on tools that have dangerous faults."

Aviation - Learn more in our comprehensive special report.

From issue 2642 of New Scientist magazine, 11 February 2008, page 28-29

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Flight

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth with your eyes turned skywards

-
Leonardo Da Vinci

Monday, February 04, 2008

Prayer List

They might not be Christians and they might not know I am praying for them, but I feel these few people close to my heart really need support of some kind. It's not necessarily help that they want because sometimes one just has to find the way unassisted and we can only watch on with our eyes willing them to succeed.

SHU MEI - I know it's a hard blow, especially with the distance. I can only hope you can get closure and find strength in God's love. Take care my friend, I'm still storing that hug you wanted for when you get back.


MUM - It's been a tough 2007 for the family and we've had to make adjustments and sacrifices in order to keep on going. However, being the eldest daughter meant things were particularly harder on my mother and I am guilty of not being around to support her. People ask if family is the reason I am going back to Singapore after graduating and that is a definite "yes". For the 25 years since I've been born, only 9 of them have been spent with my Mum. 11 if you add in the holidays when I get to go home. It's time. Time to go home. Time to be a son, brother and man.


DAD - Fighting with stage 2/3 cancer has been a huge drain on my dad both physically and mentally. Things are looking up after the latest bout of chemotherapy and he even felt well enough for a getaway trip to Genting. May he get a full recovery.


CLARENCE - Things are kind of at a crossroads for you right now and the position as well as timing of everything does nothing to improve the situation too. Stressful as it may be, these are decisions and choices you cannot put off. Put your foot down and get off the fence because for better or worse, you'll finally wrench yourself out of this static limbo. Don't worry. You know we'll be there if you do fall and you can count on me for "a pint".


EE NIAN - Little fresher, don't be overly stressed. These sort of things are part of life, but they are fleeting and never last long. Endure through the gruelling first round and your mind will clear after that with the path to walk made plain. You have another 2 years ahead, so just take everything in stride and don't lose focus on why you're here to begin with. Don't worry, I have high hopes of you absorbing my whole 武林密集 and enjoying U.K immensely.


ML & RB - My Brothers, what else can I say. You are both equally important to me and I am very grateful that neither one of you has forced me to make a choice between you two. It's a choice you know I can't make. Things are looking bleak and the rift seems bigger with each passing day. It pains me to see how things are now in Singapore. Is there really no working out the differences? This awkward silence is stifling and surely some part of you wants to resolve it as well? The two of you practically grew up together with Jook as the backdrop of your childhood. Deep inside, you must miss each other.




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